I'm back... maybe

Please excuse my absence, I have been in the bathroom. A few things that brought me out of hiding:


In 'the bright side of civil unrest' news, I have agreed to accept a position in the new Egyptian cabinet as the minister of Funk.




When asked his occupation upon checking into rehab, Charlie Sheen said, "Well I'm an actor, but I really want to die-wrecked."









Betty White apparently won a SAG award tonight. Had no idea they had a breast catgory. This recent resurgence for the Golden Girl is pissing me off. No one was celebrating her when I was hitting that ten years ago...














The NFL Pro Bowl is like an all star porn cast got together for an orgy and then everybody stands around jerking off while Bill Belichick secretly films and grimaces.