Happy Valentine's Day

Have I ever told you that I think the real definition of insanity is doing the same chick twice and expecting different results?

You may no longer stand under my umbrella

Q: Why did Chris Brown hesitate before he beat the shit out of Rihanna?

A: There were so many number 1 hits to choose from.

Special Shout Out to Facebook and this 25 Random Things Crap

7 Specific Things
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Today at 12:01am Edit Note Delete

Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 7 specific things, facts, measurements, rumors, or lies about you. At the end, choose 7 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you.

If I tagged you, it's because I want some money or a hug. (To do this, go to "notes" under tabs on your profile page, paste these instructions in the body of the note, type your 7 specific things, tag 7 people (in the right hand corner of the app) then click publish.)

1. I've been arrested 6 times in 4 different states!

2. I go around to meet my neighbors when I move into a new apartment, and not just because the judicial system mandates that I do so.

3. I have gorgeous feet.

4. I think Facebook is like crack! Except I've never blown a guy to get more Facebook...

5. I am just not that into you.

6. My favorite holiday is Father's Day, because I get to laugh and wonder all day!

7. I really want to make a series of adult films that the whole family can watch together.

Office contest

Here's a fun one for the workplace. I am going to bring in 5 heart-shaped framed photos, with me and a different girl in each one. I will place them prominently on my desk and see if I can get any co-workers to begin calling me "Big Love". You can play along at home as well.

Christmas Gifts

My family chose an "As Seen on TV" theme for this year's gifts. I am now on the couch, comfortably ensconced in a Snuggie (http://www.getsnuggie.com/) and dialing 1-900 numbers for free from my home phone with my Magic Jack (http://www.magicjack.com/). But don't worry, I have two ShamWow!'s (http://www.shamwow.com/) close by for any unforeseen spillage. If you turn just the right way, the Snuggie can even be slightly asphyxiating! I feel truly blessed.