Continued Literary Series

Back by popular demand, I have written the latest volume in my children's literature series. This one is called "Where The Wild Ho's Are". It is designed to teach children about business and negotiating skills. Reader's Digest says, "this book will have kids choosing their own adventure AND scratching and sniffing!"

To see earlier books in the series:

http://thefranchisecometh.blogspot.com/2008/09/continued-literary-series.html

http://thefranchisecometh.blogspot.com/2008/09/lo-siento.html

Are you going to get in the truck, my child?

Devout Catholic and now former Knick, Stephon Marbury, proudly displays the results of his "no look" technique during Ash Wednesday ceremony.

New Drinking Game

I came up with a new drinking game while watching Sober House on VH1 today. Every time the former Guns 'N Roses drummer, Steven Adler, does heroin you do a shot. I just finished a handle of Jack. I love Sober House.

Always helping my fellow man

Yesterday there was a girl across from me on the train reading When Bad Things Happen to Good People. I punched her in the face to re-affirm her belief in self-worth.

Exclusive NFL news

Former Atlanta Falcons RB Jamal Anderson is throwing his hat in the ring as the latest athlete to endorse an energy drink, and he is breaking the news here first. Anderson, a close friend of the Franchise, said, "Fuck Braylon Edwards and that 5 hour Energy bullshit. With new Dirty Bird Coke, you will be wired - ready to play, ready to fuck, ready to do what you got to do. Best thing is you don't even need to drink it. Straight up your nose. Now meet me by the toilet."

We wish Jamal well in this new endeavor and his upcoming trial.

http://www.ajc.com/services/content/printedition/2009/02/10/anderson0210a.html

Questions for Alex

A-Rod faced the press today, but I feel there were questions left unasked...

• Are you aware of the damage that testosterone can do to your menstrual cycle, and do you have any concern for the example you are setting for young transgender athletes everywhere?
  
  
  
  
• Seriously, would you rather bang a dude or a dead dude?

• Is there any chance your anonymous cousin could also be convinced to be related to Melky Cabrera this year?
  Melky Cabrera #28 CF
  2008 STATS
  BA .249 HR 8 RBI 37 OBP .301 SLG .341

• Have you or have you not ever experimented with women's hair products, and/or clothes that make you "feel frilly"?

• Do you know how we know you're gay?

• Is one of the side effects of steroids, 'teammates with funny ears'?
  

MATSUUUUUUIIII!!!!!!

Weekend Reminder

Whether it's with your Starbucks barista, your boss, an in-law, or family pet - just a reminder that sex changes everything.

Happy Valentine's Day

Have I ever told you that I think the real definition of insanity is doing the same chick twice and expecting different results?

You may no longer stand under my umbrella

Q: Why did Chris Brown hesitate before he beat the shit out of Rihanna?

A: There were so many number 1 hits to choose from.

Special Shout Out to Facebook and this 25 Random Things Crap

7 Specific Things
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Today at 12:01am Edit Note Delete

Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 7 specific things, facts, measurements, rumors, or lies about you. At the end, choose 7 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you.

If I tagged you, it's because I want some money or a hug. (To do this, go to "notes" under tabs on your profile page, paste these instructions in the body of the note, type your 7 specific things, tag 7 people (in the right hand corner of the app) then click publish.)

1. I've been arrested 6 times in 4 different states!

2. I go around to meet my neighbors when I move into a new apartment, and not just because the judicial system mandates that I do so.

3. I have gorgeous feet.

4. I think Facebook is like crack! Except I've never blown a guy to get more Facebook...

5. I am just not that into you.

6. My favorite holiday is Father's Day, because I get to laugh and wonder all day!

7. I really want to make a series of adult films that the whole family can watch together.