New TV lineup

We are lucky enough that I am privy to the new Spring network television prime time replacement shows. Here they are with time slots and tag lines.

Fox
Wednesday / 10:00 pm: Are You Sexier Than A Fifth Grader? -- “We’re Fox, for Christ’s sake. Jeff Foxworthy hosts.”

Friday / 10:00 pm: Oh Yeah, Mr. Really Smart Fifth Grader – Can You Do More Whippets Than Me? – “The 7th grade children of failed contestants on Fox’s Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader?, will now have a chance to defend their family’s incestuous honor. Jeff Foxworthy still hosts.”

CBS
Thursday / 8:00 pm: Survivor: West Baltimore -- "The HBO-like edginess of the mean streets of one of America's worst cities, meets the competitive fire of stranded middle-aged white people -- Who will come out on top?"

Monday / 8:30 pm: How I met that chick who used to let me throw it in her butt before I married your frigid, bitchy mother -- "A prequel of sorts"

NBC
Tuesday / 8:00 pm: Law & Order: The Hispanic Guy Did It -- “Ripped out another spinoff”

Thursday / 9:00 pm: The Corporate Rest Room -- “They love it in England!”

Friday / 10:00 pm: Dateline: To Catch A Governor -- “Dateline correspondent, Chris Hansen of To Catch A Predator fame, will now use a variety of high tech traps to catch evil-doing state leaders in the act -- while you watch and judge!”

ABC
Wednesday / 8:00 pm: Convulsing with the Handicapped Stars! -- "Production is currently on hold"

Thursday / 8:30 pm: The Bachelor: No Prophylactics! -- "We promise that by the end of this season there will be more tears and surprises than ever..."