Tiger's Blue Christmas

Well if US Weekly is reporting it, it sure sounds official. Elin Woods says "divorce is 100% on". Poor Tiger. I wrote a song for him to the tune of
Christmas (Baby, Please Come Home)


It's Christmas ... Elin, please come home
Yeah

My public approval's comin' down / Christmas
I'm watchin' it fall / Christmas
Fleeing endorsements abound / Christmas
Elin, please come home

How I wish that I had known / Christmas
Swedes don't like the extra-marital bone / Christmas
Now I'm putt-in' all alone / Christmas
Rachel should have taken her name off the f#ckin phone!!

These whores recorded my texts and my calls
Probably even made a mold of my balls
I guess I shouldn't have been so slop-py
And now I know why I hate TMZ




All these chicks even looked alike / Christmas
Except this one, I think she's a dyke / Christmas
















I like dyed hair, fat lips and big tit-tays / Christmas
I'm not a fan of monogamy-seeking Swedish nan-nays!!! / Christmas
Elin, please come home
Elin, please come home
Elin, please come home

Now I'm singin' 'Tiger's Christmas Blues'
Poppin Ambiens and drinkin' booze
But you can be sure I'll be back for the Masters
Drivin greens and making new kids bastards

If you come back 'I will wear you out' / Christmas
Raise your pre-nup without no doubt / Christmas
But it's already Christmas day / Christmas
Elin, please come home / Christmas
Home / Christmas

When we got married you should have known the deal / Christmas
I'm a Tiger baby, and I keep it real / Christmas
Lord of the pussy jungle, and I got to hunt / Christmas
Who knew you'd be such a Christmas cun.... / Christmas

Elin, please come home / Christmas
Elin, please come home / Christmas
Elin, please come home / Christmas
Home / Christmas

Elin, please come home / Christmas