Injury Report

We have to make the NFL a focus right now as the season is in full force. Here is this week's injury report so you can dominate your bets and purchase that fantasy hooker.

Tom Brady: Suffering from priapism (erection for four or more hours) -- Out, but really in a better place now

Brett Favre: Unable to walk on water due to leg injury, but will play -- Probable deity

Vince Young: Enlarged tear ducts -- Mom says he is Questionable, but not to judge

Every Kicker: Teammates think they are pussies -- Probable Foreigner

Plaxico Burress: Dislocated cell phone-dialing finger -- Suspended

J.T. O'Sullivan: Missing Lucky Charms -- Doubtful

Melissa Stark: Stitches -- Will Play Rough

Warren Sapp: Complete loss of testosterone and pride -- Out for career