NCAA Night Session continued

7:53 -- My first half Morehead St. bet is looking good. I put in a bid to buy one of Angelina Jolie's adopted kids on eBay.





7:57 -- Louisville does not look good from the free throw line. #1 seed nerves? I log into Craig's List again and set up the sex swing.

8:23 -- I went downstairs to get more beer before. The sushi delivery-guy who hangs out in front of my apartment was there smoking cigarettes. I have warned him of this before. Took him inside for waterboarding.... Louisville up by 10.

8:35 -- Bit of a nailbiter going in USC vs. BC. 3 point game early in second half. Speaking of which, one of these pros is a bit of a pillow biter. She just told me her Dad abused her... Billy Raferty is mainlining heroin.

8:41 -- Phew, this just in from TMZ.com. Celebrity fame whore Nick Lachey did not actually go to USC, he is merely surgically attached to Matt Leinart's dick.

8:46 -- Louisville finally rolling, USC hanging tough with BC like the New Kids... my Dad just called asking for his retainer fee, and his car and genes back.

3:34 -- I invented a time travel machine. hahaha I fucking crack me up.

9:20 -- USC wins!! I shoot celebratory blowdart at that random arrow guy.
http://blogs.usatoday.com/ondeadline/2009/03/new-york-arrow.html

9:28 -- Late games will start soon. Subtracting pros who drank, I am in for approximately 23 Natty Lights. Time to start playing sad songs and crying.

Speaking of sad songs, I wonder which "Friend" Adam Duritz is doing right now... wait! no worries - Rick Pitino just said he would have killed himself if one of his teams lost to San Jose St. I feel better.

9:34 -- CBS Sports' Seth Davis just took OSU over Siena in the late game 8 seed vs. 9 seed matchup. I am heavy Siena. Little does Seth Davis know that his sister is tied up in my basement! Excuse me, I have to make a phone call now...

9:50 -- Raftery and Verne Lundquist are openly sharing a bottle of Maker's Mark and one pair of Depends on the air.

9:58 -- I have asked one of the pros, George Jung and the manager of D'Agostino's to move in with me. I love March Madness!!

10:16 -- I just walked into D'Agostino's and they played "One Shining Moment" with a video montage of my purchases from the day... is this a sign?

10:24 -- If anyone is following along in a timely manner and happens to work in a Home Depot or some other such store, please send a chainsaw. One pro seems to have gotten away...

10:34 -- Mich St up by 4 on Philip Morris' brother Robert. I would like to see Gus Johnson narrate a porno.

10:38 -- Gus Johnson porno comment continued: "She was an underrated ball-handler. (voice rising) WE DID NOT THINK SHE COULD HANDLE THE OFFENSIVE LOAD!!"

11:51 -- Checking back in. Still awake and alive. They finally got me - I am heading to Applebee's for late night and the 2 for $20 deal. OSU - Siena in OT. Name one person who cares about either team who can read. I dare you.