DVD Review - No stars, didn't see it.

Of course, I did not see this movie -- but Twilight 2 was apparently very popular and may be coming out on video. Some thoughts:

#1 - I respect stoned chicks getting plowed by really pale, kind of out-of-it guys. That part definitely works for me.










#2 - The wolf? I mean seriously. Michael J. Fox in Teen Wolf rules this guy for realism. Taylor Lautner is more of a baby lamb chop, or a cross-dressing wolverine. Also, didn't he date a chick named Taylor? - Yeah bud, do all the push-ups you want, but your publicist should have warned you that you are the ultimate pussy if your girlfriend has the same name as you.




Good luck with the steroids though, Taylor - maybe you can blow Zack Efron in High School Musical 4 - We're All Super GAY







# 3 - Here is the Wikipedia description: On her 18th birthday, Bella Swan wakes up from a dream in which she sees herself as an old woman. She expresses her distaste with growing older than her boyfriend Edward Cullen, a vampire who stopped aging physically at 17. Despite her lack of enthusiasm, Edward's adoptive family throws Bella a birthday party. While unwrapping a gift, Bella gets a paper cut, causing Edward's brother, Jasper, to become overwhelmed by her blood's scent and attempt to kill her. Realizing the danger that he and his family pose to Bella, Edward ends their relationship, and the Cullens leave Forks, Washington permanently.

Umm - are you fucking serious? First off, "Bella Swan"? Why not Cindy Rella? Just as subtle.

Next, Robert Pattinson is 17? Maybe if he is a diabetic waiting for a kidney transplant from Axl Rose. Guy looks like me after a six day bender in Cancun with Lindsay bLohan and Joe Francis.






Next, best use of a paper cut in a plot twist, EVER. Staples and Dunder-Mifflin have to be using this in their next product innovation/ad campaign.


Last, do you think the Drummonds (the adoptive family in a similar scenario) would do this for Arnold or Willis on Diff'rent Strokes? No, they'd say, 'stop crying about a paper cut and go get raped by the bike repair guy with Dudley'.