SAN FRANCISCO (MarketWatch) -- Three bank failures in Puerto Rico on Friday raised the tally of failed U.S. banks for the year to 60, according to the Federal Deposit Insurance Corp. Puerto Rico's Westernbank will be taken over by Banco Popular; Eurobank will be taken over by Oriental Bank and Trust; and R-G Premier Bank of Puerto Rico will be taken over by Scotiabank. The three banks claimed to have a combined total of $20.42 billion in assets and $14.84 billion in deposits, but could only produce loose change and 6 packs of Parliaments when confronted by FDIC officials.
FDIC chairperson Sheila Bair commented, "I've seen these Puerto Rican banks loitering around my financial marketplace for far too long. The Board and I have just always had the feeling that they're up to no good! When we investigated further, we determined that there were Hispanic men with guns inside all three banks. Guns! I wanted to give all their ill-gotten funds to that nice hard-working Oriental bank, but I was told I couldn't do that." Reached on his car phone, vice president Joe Biden said, "This is probably another big fucking deal isn't it?"
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